My Walmart Adventure Really Stunk


This post has absolutely nothing to do with our Health or Fitness, but it just may help confirm that I’m insane.

It all started innocently enough.  It was our Friday trip to Walmart to do a little shopping.  I was doing the typical guy thing of walking around and passing gas!  This drives Adamy crazy.

After spending several minutes annoying Adamy, I headed to the bathroom.  (Wherever we are, I always feel like I have to go to the bathroom.)  While standing at the urinal doing my thing, I felt the urge to let a little gas seep out.  Well, somewhere between standing with Adamy and going to the bathroom, I developed the runs.  I might also add that I was wearing boxers under my shorts.  So the moment I passed gas, I felt a warm, wet feeling around my ankle area. Immediately, I got in the bathroom stall while trying to figure out what action I should take.

Yes, I had pooped in my pants and down my leg!

I began to clean up the best I could while silently freaking out.  I washed the best I could at the bathroom sink, and then I hit the hot air thingy and raised my leg so that I could dry my shorts!  While I’m doing this, somebody walked in.  Here I am raising my leg looking like an idiot!  Even for a Walmart, this was extreme.

Once I finished cleaning up, I headed toward Adamy so we could continue shopping.  My intent was to not say a thing.  Well, as soon as I walked up to her, she said with a loud voice, “what the hell is that smell?”  I then knew I would have to explain to her what I had done, and I would have to hear Adamy say “I warned you,” the rest of my life!  After I tried to explain that it was an accident, she sent me outside to air out!

As I lowered my head and walked away, I could hear her mumbling something in Spanish.  I think she may have been saying “there goes my sexy man”.  Then again, I was walking and pulling my boxers out of my butt, so I may be wrong.

And yes I know, this is TMI.  But as Adamy would say, “that’s just Don being Don”…


About insaneDon

Don Carpenter is a Massage Therapist and the co-owner of Angel Dolfyn Massage. He is a marathoner and ultra-marathoner. His hobbies include running, reading, listening to music, and biking. He's been married to Adamy Diaz since 1999 and since then has been adopted by 4 cats. Don's very complex philosophy is: "It's all play!"

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